wow...it's sooooo close

tonight I was sitting with a dear friend talking and hearing her deepest wishes. Those moments were so important to me because of the importance of our relationship. she wishes happiness and love...I wish that for her.

so as the night goes by she talks and i smile

she talks and I smile

she talks and I smile

I hear her....

but

my thoughts wonder

my thoughts merge

thinking about my lover

my deepest commitment

my husband

............................so when I have these memories always, not sure why, this particular memory comes into pay....back of bike, mini skirt!

I am sure ALL of you who know us, knows this memory!

that is the beginning of all memories!

our love has not only grown, it's become bigger then anyone could ever imagined. My husband and I have fallen so in love I still to this day...almost 11 yrs later pinch myself in awe!

he is my lover

my best friend

my hero

I love you eli and I can't wait until the next day we see each other !

Day 2

I'm probably not going to be this dedicated to blogging and tracking my menu everyday since I started a new class today. But I want to share with everyone what I'm eating and how it is effecting me already.

When I woke this morning I felt great. Remember I am taking a multi vitamin at night. I woke up right before the alarm went off so that was fabulous for me. I was NOT hungry right way and had no desire for coffee. ALREADY on the 2nd day.

My menu for the day

breakfast 1 cup coffee with splenda and a touch of cream = 20 calories

2 pieces of turkey bacon 70 calories

1 fried egg 45 calories

snack am & PM rice cake each time 35 calories

lunch 3oz grilled breast of chicken no salt no butter or oil 137 calories

2 cups of steamed broccoli no salt or pepper and no oil or butter 50 calories

Dinner - 1 3oz stk sirloin 140 calories

1 small tortilla 30 calories

Total 527 calories

LOTS of water

walked 30 minutes at a constant pace on treadmill burned approx 180 calories

no doubt this is hard, I thought today why the hell am I doing this because I could really use a glass of wine tonight......or a nice cold draft amber bock....then I looked at a picture of my daughter and a horrible picture of myself at this weight and reminded myself to stay strong. 1 wk of this and I'll have a good plan! Thanks to everyone who has giving me great low calorie food ideas! EVERYTHING HELPS!

Day 2

I woke up feeling great today, I was nervous it would be the total opposite. I remember a friend talking about adding more protein to my diet when your eating way less. I am going to make sure I have at least a 3oz chicken breast or sirloin steak every other day. Good source of protein, I think I'm really going to try hard to do the treadmill each evening. I started back to school this week also so I can read my book while I walk . According to this guide hubby sent me last night I actually burnt 180 calories not 150 so that does help to allow me to have extra veggies at lunch and dinner, I'll just hop on the treadmill at the end of the day. unfortunately the scale in the house has disappeared. i went room to room in a fog first thing out of bed this morning looking for the scale., did not find it so I'm still not totally sure if I lost anything yesterday. I will be purchasing a scale and will go off my last weight measurement that was last week at the doctors for a guide.

weight loss journey

So I found this new process in weight loss and I decided to try it. I started today at 500 calorie a day diet and I am walking on treadmill at a good pace 3 times a week to burn 150 calories a day. I will give those days my extra days but will try hard NOT to use them but burn those calories. i am finding alot of protein full foods that are low in calories and I am taking a great vitamin daily. I am excited for this and I am going to do my best to stick to it, phase I of this process is the hardest!

today I had

LOTSSSSSSSSS of water

2 cups of coffee with splenda and 1 tblspn creamer = 25 calories

1 apple = 45 calories

1 bowl of iceberg lettuce = 24 calories

tuna packet =70 calories

2 peices of sugar free gum=10 calories

3 peices of turkey bacon=110 calories

1 fried egg - 45 calories

1 cup strawberries 45 calories

1 packet of crystal light =10 calories

28 lightly salted pretzel sticks= 110

Total calorie intake =494

walked on treadmill for 30 minutes

burned 150 calories

Damn .......I could do this

Our Daughter turns 8yrs old!!!

WOW!!

what a week! Eli was home for 10 days, what a great gift to kaitlynn for her birthday! And boy what a birthday it was! House filled with friends and lots and lots of kids! Kaitlynn celebrated at Wild River family fun Entertainment and it was a blast, bowling, arcade fun, pizza and cake celebration! Then........the races! A majority of the party, about 15 of us went over to the Cocopah speedway to watch the races and it was a blast! Great racing...late it was Rockband time and then GOOD NIGHT! Exhausting day but it was so awesome for her! Happy Birthday My sweet princess! WE LOVE YOU!

Bullying, it comes in many forms and it's sad

This year my daughter was exposed to a bullying situation. I was affected way more then Kaitlynn was because I witnessed it and I was astonished. Kaitlynn is so happy go lucky....she didn't seem to notice. I was so shocked more because the parents of the children who bullied my daughter were approached by myself and didn't take it seriously.

I work every day with children who are bullied and those who bully. I teach parents on what to do to help their kiddo get through the horrifying ordeal. For me, this was devastating. I was SO SO mad watching my daughter, having to hear the mean words, and just seeing the look on these children's faces like it was so cool to be assholes. It took everything for me not to curse out these parents. When I approached them calmly for help I was accused of being a over protective parent and told I keep my daughter in a bubble.

Since then I have done tons of reading and research, I have found I am not alone. This happens so often in communities violence breaks out between the parents before the kids. I have gained a new found sadness for this family. I talked to my daughter and supported her and did everything in my power not to allow her self esteem to plummet. These parents at some point in their lives will have a rude awakening whether it's tomorrow or in 10 yrs. At some point something will be done by the rudeness and bullying treatment these children put out.

Today when I saw Kaitlynns face I knew, I knew something had gone wrong with a friend and I just had to let her tell me....and she did. Again, she wants to be a friend to this "school-mate" who had been her friend since Kindergarten and she just keeps being mean and meaner. If I hadn't seen it for myself I would chalk it up to being a kid. But boy kids can be so damn mean.

what does a parent do when this is a constant happening ...maybe I'm more aware because I not only am educated, but I educate on this subject. Do I look for these situations to ac cure? All this had gone through my mind and I analyze my actions so I make sure I am making the right decision for my daughter. Not only for her growth and encouragement but for myself ...to be a better parent. I won't deny that dad who told me to my face I hold my daughter in a bubble, his words constantly go through my mind. But I will say...as long as I am my daughters face and knowing every moment of her actions, she is less likely to be a victim and/or revictimized. I will not be bullied as a parent for protecting my child. This bullying shit has got to come to an end. These parents need to take responsibly for their children's actions. When do we as parents stop saying "their just kids, it'll pass"?

The Journey with my Mom

My mom and I went back to Houston to finish everything up with my Uncles house and belongings. It was so much easier this time, not near as emotional as the 1st time we all were there after his death. We are saddened still but each of us were able to get some of his "treasure" which will be a forever memory of him in each of our homes. Plus, he is currently sitting in a gently wrapped box in a velvet bag on the counter in my mom's house. He was loved and his memory will forever be strong! We miss you Uncle Ron!

So instead of flying back we drove through 3 states, Texas, New Mexico and into ARIZONA where we CHEER

ED when we crossed that AZ state line, it was sure a great experience. My mom was so good with me and my driving. It wasn't the first time I dr

ove cross country but with my mom ...it was! To top it off we ended up in a HUGE storm between El Paso and Tucsun, it worked out well. I occasionally glanced over and mom had the grip of life! LMAOOOOOOOO I love you mom!

We arrived home safe around 6:30pm Wednesday so it was a quick trip!

Love your family you never know when your life will be turned upside down