If you know me you know I love to work, staying home was never a plan in my life. However I have been home now for almost 2 weeks and I haven't felt better! Excluding the situation that recently occurred with my health, I have more energy and I don't sit here and stress about going back in the office the next day to deal with it all. Granted I will not be at home for long, I will have new stressors, but this time they will be different stressors. I heard all the time while I managed / supervised that it's lonely at the top, it sure the heck is. You don't make friends because you can't and you can lose friends real fast, that is certainly a true experience.
The fact remains that me leaving was probably the best decision I could of ever made not only for me but my family. My health was affected, my mental health was affected and I was so drained when I cam home my studying became not a priority and I had no energy for my daughter. Usually by this time I am crashed in bed, laundry not done, dishes left to do in the morning and I rush my daughter off to bed after the few minutes of quality time we did get. I was hitting the snooze alarm every morning and rushing to get out the house to be on time to work.
Don't get me wrong I loved what I did, the work I did I truly enjoyed. Where I was at wasn't for me anymore. That piece of myself had to change. I graduated this month with my Masters and taking a few months off to take the time to find the right company to apply my skills and education. This will also give me an opportunity to spend some true quality time with my husband upon his arrival.
The next step is to see where I am at health wise. Since this incident last week I wonder to myself what GOD is trying to tell me. Thank god it wasn't a stroke but the final diagnosis is still very scary. I should be referred to a spinal surgeon this week so we can tackle all these question we have about the hematoma on my cervical spine. Let's just hope spinal surgery is not in the future. If it is, we'll we'll deal with that too.
I have to praise our daughter kailtynn for being such a trooper through all of this. I know she was scared seeing me collapse. thank goodness for fast thinking my mom took her out of the room while I lay there on the floor and when EMT's came, I am sure she was a mess in there wondering what the heck is going on. She hasn't left my side since I came home from the hospital, she was worried.
It's time to face the fact that with losing some friends, gaining new ones, changing jobs, going to hospital by ambulance all in 2 wks time means something, I will have to be ready when that window opens. Go with the flow...
